Thursday, June 05, 2008

running sucks

This is absolutely HILARIOUS!!

I was reading some “mommy” blogs on a parenting website and this one mom was talking about how she has been trying to get in shape but just doesn’t have the attention span to stick with running for longer than 5 minutes. I was reading along at work, and practically started laughing out loud at my desk (no one is around me, mind you) because of her description. I’ll just let it speak for itself. Guys, you will probably find this a bit gross, but women will find it amazingly, if not slightly exaggerated, accurate. J

“I have a short attention span so I am usually bored and ready to quit after about five minutes. I came home on Day 2 and told my husband that was why I could never be a marathon runner. He raised his eyebrows and said, “Really? That’s why?”

Uh, YES. The fact that my rear end slaps my shoulder blades when I run and that I feel like I might keel over and die 24.2 miles shorter than a marathon has nothing to do with it…

I then spend the next 20 minutes of my run/walk gasping for air mentally telling myself how much it sucks, wondering where that runner’s high is that some people talk about, questioning if perhaps I just come from a long line of terminally lazy people. And therefore it wouldn’t really be my fault. It would be my mother’s fault! Her and her faulty genes. I could live with that excuse.”

HAHA! That’s pretty much what I think almost every time I put on my running shoes. Fortunately, I usually do feel better AFTER the run, although it takes me about an hour to stop wheezing and coughing. The act itself is repulsive, but the rewards are redeeming.

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