Thursday, July 03, 2008

stream of conciousness while trapped inside on a beautiful day

So, as I'm sitting here at the IT company, I am aware that there is so much time that I am wasting when I could be reading things I need to read, writing things I need to write, catching up on all the knowledge I seem to have missed from time to time. But is that what I do with my time? Hardly.

I spend the minutes checking email yet again! and sighing that no one has written me in the past half hour. I wouldn't want to be that busy with email anyway, so what's the problem? And, I read tons of books and magazines...unfortunately none that are all that useful to making a better use to society. What can I say, I like fiction. I am trying to get through some parenting books and vocal books that teach me to be better at those aspects of my life, but I am ashamed to admit how slowly that goes, and how much it pales in comparison to Daniel Silva's latest Israeli spy mystery. Oh well.

And who says I have to be constantly improving myself anyway? No one has ever made me feel like I better be doing something useful. And so what if I'm not? Does that make me a less valuable human being for today? I think not.

That's not to say that we shouldn't be striving to improve our minds and actions. Maybe that's the major difference between people like Winston Churchill and I. They always strove for excellence and never settled for mediocrity, even in the menial jobs that made no difference to them if they did a good job or not.

Lessons to learn. I hate this job, yet want to do well because it has been provided for me by my Father, and is a blessing in so many ways. I was able to get a job for someone else through this company, for one. I make money so Jon and I don't have to move in with my parents, for two. And, I get time to write things like this while I'm working, for three. So, even though I'm bored out of my mind, things could definitely be worse. Thank God for IT, whatever it is. :)

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