Monday, January 26, 2009


...sometimes I think my motivation to pursue performance is lagging behind my sense of duty to take care of my family. I really want to sing. So much so that I try not to think about everything it would take to realize that would take sacrifice that I am sure I would regret. It would take time away from my husband and son and any future children that I am not sure I want them to remember. I grew up with a stay at home mom who was a wonderful provider and always there to help with anything. This was my own view of the family that I knew someday I would have. I just thought I would get my chance to pursue performing first. Obviously, I chose to marry my husband and have a child...and I don't regret that. They is one of the great joys of my life. But, it leaves my dream stranded. How do I pursue this dream of singing and still be the wife and mother I know I need to be?

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

too much...

I guess I'm a little old-fashioned...and I know that when I'm gray and 80 million years old that I will definitely be one of those old people that annoy everyone else by not knowing how to adapt to the new technology and inventions around them...but all these new technological things that are popping up everywhere are starting to aggravate me. I prefer to keep things simple. I guess that all the gadgets and blackberrys and twitters and facebooks and, oh, I don't know, electric toothbrushes could make my life better and faster and more satisfying. But what if I don't want my life to be faster? What if I'm not frustrated with the pace of things that I do? What's it to you if you are frustrated with me going slower than the rest of the world? Most of the time, it does not affect you. It will affect me if I don't get to things fast enough. It will affect my time. And I'm pretty much okay with it. Maybe I will eventually get an iPhone. They look neat, but kinda frivolous. I mean, it's cool that you can play NFL trivia games at any given point in your day, but it seems to me that all this immediate access to communication and games and silly little electronic things is taking people away from the things that these very things should be freeing up time for: our family and friends. How many people do you know are there that actually turn their phone off to have a visit with someone? Not many, I bet, if any at all. I had a visit with someone recently that I hadn't seen in about a year, and he actually had his phone on vibrate - it did keep going off, but he didn't answer it. I think that was admirable and honorable to the time that he was investing in our friendship. So, stop texting at the dinner table. Stop answering your phone every single time it rings, even when it's incredibly inconvenient. You can call them back at another time. That's why it's a cell phone. You are actually in charge of it, not it of you. Wii is really fun, but it shouldn't be the best thing since sliced bread. Remember what's really important and don't begrudge the people who don't have internet or cable at their house. It's not actually important to survival.