Tuesday, August 11, 2009

dealing

"Because You are my helper, I will sing in the shadow of Your wings." Psalm 63:7

That verse has meant a lot to me over the years - I found it as a college student and wrote it into all sorts of things so that I would remember His gift to me and how I can use it.

Right now, it is a comfort that I can sing while turmoil is happening. Emotions are high and time is never enough and I just want to crawl into a corner and not answer anyone's questions and sleep and pray and read and not be responsible for anything. I have my last summer concert with Longwood Opera tonight (I am singing the Flower Duet from Delibes' Lakme). My parents are gone in 4 days away from my area of the country and into another one that they love that is truly beautiful and relaxed and perfect for them but still very far away. It is the first time that my family has not been within close proximity with each other. I'm not upset that it's happening, just sad. I think it's a natural reaction. I think any person with a fairly healthy relationship with their parents and family feels it is a bit unnatural to live away from them. It has been a week of packing and cleaning and sorting my parents' stuff and pushing my own emotions away until they have to be dealt with...when I shut down.

It is a comfort to know that God can protect me from myself. From the lies in my head. And he can give me my daily sustenance as I work and talk and plan for the future. I have more opportunities to sing than I used to and that brings me great joy and an outlet for these emotions that I tend to stuff inside. God has provided that for me. He is good. He will protect and nurture me and my little family here even as my parents move farther away. I trust that. It's just hard to say goodbye to seeing them often.



No comments: