Friday, September 04, 2009

It is so hard to get back into school mode. I have been spoiled rotten this summer...letting myself take naps whenever I want to, going wherever I want to, and not one work obligation. I don't think that's happened since before high school. Of course, I had to be home to let Jeremiah sleep for his nap, but then I could sit outside in the gorgeous weather and read read read for hours and get a perfect tan. Or, I could sleep. Which, believe me was totally worth it too.

And now, I have had one week of school. Well, kind of one week. Two teacher days and one half day of teaching. Which ended up being a joke, because an assembly took all my teaching time away. Anyway, tuesday is my first full day of teaching. I am looking forward to teaching and singing and all that...but am not looking forward to the scheduling. Ugh, how I despise being on a schedule. I know that is probably not normal, but I feel so limited and trapped when I am supposed to be somewhere. And the time that I am not working, I am babysitting my child and another. Which will be fine, but definitely an adjustment as I learn this other child's temperament and way of communicating. During the dinner hour. Every day.

Yes, I'm whining. I'm not really upset by all this, but needing to vent. I don't like working...I like to do what I love and that's it. But, then again, that's everyone, right? ;) At least I'm teaching music. I do have fun with it, and I do find myself getting passionate about it...I think it's just a little harder for me to fully delve into than some other friends of mine. And I kinda wish I were more like them.

But, instead, I am a quirky singer who wants to sing. So, I am making the most of the summer by following up with some singers I made connections with at Longwood Opera, hoping for a little one-on-one time to get advice and ideas on how to proceed. I have two auditions scheduled for the fall. I need to be fearless and guiltless. And I know that really won't happen, but I have to find a way to pretend really well at times. I will not quit now.

Not unless the Lord desires.

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