Thursday, December 03, 2009

some God-rambles.

I have been too judgmental lately. I have been putting people in a neat little box. I have been writing actions off as "just plain cruel" or "totally selfish" or "unthinking stupidity."

But the unfortunate truth is, there are many facets to people. I should not write off the person who cut me off at the supermarket as a rude and self-focused boor...when they might have been thinking about a fight they just had at home with one of their family members and so were understandably distracted. I should not believe co-workers to be cruel based on the testimony of another co-worker who, admittedly, sees the world through grey-colored glasses.

Where is the person in me that used to look for the good in others? That girl who was disappointed more than once at those who didn't rise to my expectations, but who believed the friend/acquaintance/stranger had it in them to rise to it anyway? The girl who would cheer for humanity when other, more cynical friends would give others a second chance, even when they seemed like a lost cause?

Have I become that jaded? Do I see only the "there is none that are good, no not one" and not the "love your neighbor as yourself"? Who am I to call down judgment? Is it not left to God to judge? I am called to forgive. And forgive. And forgive. I am called to love God and my fellow man. I am not called to be justifiably angry when I am wrongly accused, or spitefully ignored, or even betrayed by another. Jesus had all these things happen, and he trusted that vengeance was God's. He trusted that there was a bigger plan. And he trusted that God made the creatures who hurt him. He trusted that God loved them. And he knew his place in God's plan.

I think that is an extremely hard concept for humans...dare I say, American swallow. Jesus knew his place. He accepted that there was a limit to what he was supposed to do. God wanted him to die on that cross to save you and I and all who would come to Him. Jesus certainly, as a human, didn't want to go through with it. He even prayed to ask that it wouldn't have to happen. But, God, in His wisdom and compassion and grace for you and I, said no to His son, and Jesus knew his place.

Do I know my place? I am constantly fed through the media and culture I live in that no one has to have a "place" anymore...we have all broken through the barriers of race, of culture, of authority, of age. But, with that has come broken relationship, egotistical minds, and unknown boundaries. Some barriers are certainly good to break through - like racial barriers. It's appalling to think it took us this long to treat all men equal, despite how they look. And we still have some ways to go. But others, like the barrier of age...there is little to no respect for age anymore. These people may be out of touch with technology (some of them), but they are a wealth of information about life and how best to live it. But young people are taught from very young that an aging person is a decrepit person who has nothing to offer because youth is everything. Unfortunately, we all get old, so this is an unwise direction for society to look.

God desires that we submit our wills to Him. It is not easy, quick, or pleasant, as so many things in society strive to be. But it is our place as Christ followers to submit. It is anti-American. It is ludicrous to try to explain to someone. But it is God's desire. And I have found it can be a daily activity, even hourly activity to submit. But it's better than the alternative of trying to live my own way. I've tried that. I ended up crying myself to sleep every night, wondering what was wrong with my life. I needed God to be in control, because I sure couldn't be. I screwed stuff up way too much.

I bet if a lot of you are still before God, you will hear that need echoing around in you somewhere. Talk to God about it.

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