Thursday, October 18, 2012

marriage...or just the wedding?

I have a coworker, I'll call her Susie (not her real name).  She is someone that I don't really associate with at work mostly because we just don't really get a chance.  But...I'm also not really sure she is someone that I would be able to associate with easily, given the few interactions I've had with her, and given the way I've seen her relate to others and talk about others when they aren't around.  She's young, probably my age or younger, works in Special Education, and tends to act like her job is the most important while cozying up to the principal and anyone else who might help her get "her" way of things done.

Now...I know this is how a lot of people tend to operate in business and many jobs...but it is exactly why I am so glad I am not in one of those types of jobs.  I enjoy the "kid" aspect of my job and the "teaching" aspect of my job...not the agenda-acheiving aspect of my job.  Priorities for me tend to be a bit different...and that creates some awkward moments sometimes with coworkers.

Anyway - that derailed fast.  My point was...

Oh, yeah.  So, Susie.  She very recently got married to her boyfriend that she's been living with for a while.  It has been all wedding planning for this entire school year, and she has made sure that everyone knew about it.  She was VERY excited. 

So, the following week after she was back from her honeymoon, I see her at dismissal duty and offer my congratulations and ask her how everything went?

"It was really great...like totally out of a movie.  I couldn't have imagined it any more perfect," she said sadly.

That's right, I said she said it sadly.  She goes on.

"Now, I'm just feeling so bummed out, like, every day since we got back from the honeymoon, I just feel like that's it!  No more planning, no more appointments...we've been so focused on planning everything perfectly, and now it's just ho-hum life.  I've been like, on the verge of crying every day!"

I look at her with, I hope not as quite an incredulous look as I am feeling inside.  I want to shake her.  What is wrong with you?!  I am thinking.  You just got married, supposedly to the love of your life.  Was the wedding all you wanted? 

I am not one to get on my soap box very often, but this one bothers me.  So many people now live together before marriage, and I just don't believe it's a good idea!  It's definitely not biblical, and some people even have this mentality about it once they are married...like a, well, now what?  What's so special about this?  The honeymoon stage of a relationship should start during the honeymoon.  How's that for a revelation? The honeymoon stage is all about discovering each other and finding out how to love each other as you live together for the first time.   After that, it's about a commitment you made to each other and honor no matter what. 

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